Given my subject genre and influences, the appearance of gruesome murder was somewhat overdue…
It’s not Monday but at least I got another page done within the space of a week (as opposed to a month). This one’s a simpler affair than the last with the focus shifted to our mystery cyborg (Baby Face) and the unfortunate fate of the vigilant luggage attendant. At this point the former is a character who hasn’t really come to light thematically, so I did the same literally in an attempt to obscure but still partially reveal his bizarre features – that way most of the tension is maintained while steadily feeding reader interest as I build to the more dramatic scenes ahead.
The final panel is a little too barren for my liking maybe but the play of shocking red off cool blues provokes an effective mood. I’ve also got mixed feelings about using such a heavy-handed sound effect, though in the absence of an actual reveal of the MO it seemed necessary; ideally it works in a sort of Frank Miller way.
I’ll write my comment here because it’s a little bit more critiquy than usual.
First, I really like that last panel. Simple but effective, to the point. And the blood is nicely done. Once again, I’m also fan of the lighting used in this scene.
I’m not sure Ka-chunk was the most appropriate sound effect here. Might be just me, but it sounds like a metallic object falling on the ground. Judging on the middle panel alone, it could lead to think that Baby Face is hitting/destroying something else in front of the character. Just throwing an idea, maybe the expression and the sound effect should have been put in two different panels.
But then again, might be just me, I’m known to be particularly nitpicky(and sometimes annoying) when I critique.
I’m all for people nitpicking if it results in better pages! I appreciate the honest criticism :)
Oddly enough one of my original page plans actually did seperate the sound effect and face into separate panels – somehow it just felt a little too clunky though. I also played with the idea of having no SFX but that seemed to go against how I’d done earlier scenes (eg Scratch’s heavy footsteps).
I realise ‘KA CHUNK’ is a slightly odd onomatopoeia but I suppose it was intentionally that way; rather than representing the deathblow, it’s more indacative of him cranking up his signature weapon, with the actual murder being omitted between panels. I’m hiding what the weapon is for a reveal at the end of this act/issue, though if you look through my concept art I spoiled that one a long time ago :P
I’m still not 100% happy with it, so a re-edit is likely in the future when I come up with a better arrangement.
It does make more sense explained like that. If it is to be revealed later, or the sound to be heard again, it would be logical. I also think the sound effect should stay, and it’s also nicely drawn.